A popular movie trope is the scene where a plucky kid stands up to the bad guy, saying what the adults are too afraid to say.
We see it and smile. In our eyes, we’re that kid.
We’d like to believe we’d speak our minds even when others might disagree, but reality often proves the opposite.
Have you ever found yourself in a group situation where you secretly disagreed with the majority, but felt pressure to conform and keep quiet about it? Don’t worry, you're not alone.
This phenomenon, known as pluralistic ignorance, can occur when individuals in a group privately hold a different view or belief from the majority but assume that the majority's view is correct and go along with it publicly.
One study, published in the Journal of Muslim Mental Health in 2015, found that many Muslims in the United States privately held more liberal views on issues such as gender roles and sexuality, but believed that the majority of Muslims held more conservative views on these issues. As a result, they felt pressure to conform and publicly supported the more conservative views.
This happens everywhere.
A similar study in India showed that individuals privately held more progressive views on gender equality than they shared publicly.
In Japan, managers often privately disagreed with the decision-making processes of their firms.
This tendency to conform to the perceived norm can also lead to the Abilene Paradox, a term coined by management professor Jerry B. Harvey.
The term is named after a story told by Harvey in which a family goes on a long, hot car ride to Abilene, Texas (which was not their intended destination) simply because they assumed that the others wanted to go.
In reality, each member of the family had reservations about going to Abilene, but they all went along with the idea because they thought that the others wanted to do it.
When members of a group are unclear about their own preferences or are hesitant to express them, it can lead to a situation where the group collectively makes a decision that’s worse for everyone.
Chinese philosopher and diplomat Hu Shih once said of the Chinese Revolution, "We know, of course, that there is no freedom speech. But few people realise that there is no freedom of silence, either. Residents of a communist state are required to make positive statements of belief and loyalty."
Even without the pressure of a totalitarian regime, it can be easy to compromise our true beliefs in order to fit in.
Don't let group dynamics contort your decision-making and behaviour.
