You're experiencing new things, achieving new goals, and everything feels fresh and thrilling. But before the honeymoon phase fades, it's important to ask yourself: will you still be happy with the person or profession you've chosen, even when things get boring?
This is something that musician Ben Gibbard learned the hard way when he and actress Zooey Deschanel divorced after a little over two years of marriage. Reflecting on their relationship, Gibbard realised that they didn't take the time to "get to boring" and determine if they were truly compatible.
"Getting to boring" might be the most important test any relationship or career choice must pass.
A lot of things look shiny on the surface. And they may actually be awesome - but the real question isn't about the level of intrinsic awesomeness in the work. It's about your level of engagement and enjoyment when that awesomeness comes at a cost.
How will things look when you're not so starry-eyed?
Humans acclimatise faster than you might imagine. Both to the good and the bad.
Research shows lottery winners aren't much happier than the average person a year after collecting their winnings. And people dealing with life-changing injuries don't feel as awful after a similar interval.
Psychologists call this "hedonic adaptation" - our remarkable ability to return to a baseline level of satisfaction regardless of what happens to us. When you get a pay rise, it feels fantastic for a few weeks. Then your lifestyle inflates. Your baseline rises. And soon no day is better than the last.
The same is true for relationships, careers, and creative pursuits. The initial rush fades. The novelty wears off. What remains is the substance - the daily reality of the choice you've made.
This is why so many people find themselves in careers they hate or relationships that feel empty. They chose based on the honeymoon phase and never asked the critical question: What happens when this becomes routine?
When the excitement of a new project fades, what's left? When the glamour of a profession becomes familiar, will you still find meaning in the mundane parts? When your partner becomes predictable, will you still cherish their company?
Naval Ravikant, founder of AngelList, offers a great litmus test for finding work that will sustain you beyond the honeymoon phase:
What feels like play to you but looks like work to others?
The answer points to something rare and valuable - the intersection of your natural inclinations and the world's needs. It suggests an activity where the intrinsic rewards are so aligned with your nature that even when the external validation fades, you'll still find joy in the process.
Getting to boring doesn't mean settling for mediocrity. It's a call to:
Find something so aligned with your core that it remains fulfilling even when the initial excitement inevitably wanes.
The cure for starry eyes isn't cynicism - it's patience. It's the willingness to let the initial rush subside so you can see what lies beneath.
