As we grow up we’re surrounded by people and environments that shape what we believe is possible. These early data points give us the script that can supercharge or shortchange our beliefs about the world, our place in it, and the extent to which we can act on it.
The ultra-successful become so by harnessing two sets of rules. Ceiling rules and floor rules.
Until you learn to discard them there will always be a limit to how high you can fly. It’s like driving with the clutch down or sailing without a sail to catch and harness the wind.
But ceiling rules are usually obvious to anyone except you, or people like you. It’s easy to see this blind spot when you consider how easy it is to give better advice to friends than you would give to yourself.
When you see your friend in deflated spirits, failing to see what they’re capable of, you often know exactly what to say. But when you’re in that position, the weight of the thoughts inside your head can feel crushing.
Ceiling rules - internal confidence
Something exciting happened happened to me a little while ago. And it was exciting practically because of how little I had to do with it.
I was shooting hoops on an indoor basketball court. Some friends and I had just wrapped up a game of pickleball, and as we packed away some teens had come in to play basketball.
On the far side of the hall, me and a kid were casually draining some shots into an empty hoop. At one point I saw him practising layups and called over to him.
“Yo. Can you dunk?”
He stared back somewhat blankly, hesitating.
“I don’t think so,” he said.
But I’d already seen him jump - the kid had hops. It had been over 10 years since I played basketball competitively, and I’d put on about 30kg since the last time I was able to dunk or even grab the rim. In fairness to me, I’d put on the first 15kg when I switched from basketball to American football during university.
But there’s one thing I knew for sure - if you could get your fingers about two inches above the rim, you could dunk. And that’s what I told the kid.
“Try and grab the rim” I said. He did it.
“Can you get higher?” I asked. He was definitely close enough.
I nodded. You can dunk. Try it.
He grabbed the ball and took a run up. He missed, but I think he was surprised at how high he got. He ran over to his bag and got out his phone, propping it up to record. I could see the twinkle in his eye. He was starting to believe it.
He tried again. Another miss.
“You’re almost there” I said. There wasn’t much additional coaching I could provide.
He tried again. Boom. I don’t even think he realised the ball went in. He turned around and saw me smiling.
“You did it!” For a second I’m not sure he believed me.
“Did it go in?”
“Yep” I nodded, bumping fists with him.
He ran over to his phone excited. He still couldn’t believe it. He played the video back and saw it in 4K. His first dunk. He looked up at me beaming.
I laughed. I contributed nothing except confirming that he was perfectly capable of something he’d dreamed of but never attempted. And I watched him break his own ceiling right there.
He did another two dunks right afterwards.
Floor rules - external competence
The other type of internal rule that’s a key to becoming ultra-successful, are floor rules.
Ceiling rules are mental blocks - self-limits that hamper your development.
Floor rules are external - they’re your proof. Your skin in the game. The manifestation of potential.
If you don’t have them, don’t even bother getting on the court. You’re genuinely wasting your time. No amount of self-belief will help you overcome them. You can’t be a top player without them.
Don’t bother showing up to practice. Don’t bother lacing up your shoes. You won’t even get a spot on the bench.
But that doesn’t mean giving up. Work on your jump shot at home. Put on some weight. Hit the gym.
There’s no point in being talented and confident if you’re not actively working on your game.
How much can you lift? How hard can you hit? You’re an entrepreneur - which ideas have you brought to market? Oh, you’re an artist - where are your sketches?
You can’t be conceptually great - the seed of greatness must germinate physically in habits and behaviours before it can be fully realised.
Delusional self-belief without the right habits and behaviours to accompany it is useless.
