A commitment to myself

From my journal, unedited:

I need to renew some commitments.

My commitment to life, my enjoyment of it, and my commitment to bettering my mind and body.

I need to be in the field, but not toiling. Merely working, testing, experimenting, playing. I can't become an attack dog, chained and simple-minded.

I want to revel in the complexities of life. I don't want to spend all day mindlessly pursuing numbers and analytics.

I want to make art. I want to feel myself being stretched by what I am able to create.

My Chinese speaking and practice need to finally become functional. I want to be able to draw on command and have my hand craft confident shapes, perfected through repetition. I want a unique and reliable art style that I know as well as the creases in my palm.

I want to grow as a photographer and learn to make art move through video—to make authentic, self-directed stories.

I am unreasonably obsessed with becoming a prolific, versatile artist.